Source: Metro (thx Rysiek!)

How can one improve the PM’s image which has been seriously eroded by the loss in Warsaw? Only one way can do - a new rostrum, of course! And not at all a modest one, as it is equipped with height adjustment and tempered glass (but not the Contact Glass). Apart from that, the new conference hall will feature new podium, verneer finished columns, walls plastered with graphics, flags of 37 different countries and power curtain. Apart from the stationary rostrum in the hall, a new, mobile one will be also prepared. So now the ratings simply have to rise by 5 per cent. Too bad that the Cheap State programme has been unoficially terminated. This new equipment would make tales of it sound really proudly and loftily.

Source: Gazeta Wyborcza

A time ago we informed you about an idea to suitably label contraceptive agents raised by some LPR, RLN and PiS deputies. This rubbish was so laughed over that the originators of this idea withdrawn from this idea silently and ashamed. Unfortunately, the fight with contraception means different than “natural” ones (calendar-based and thermal) returns. Moreover, this time it is backed up by the Ministry of Health, which is especially concerning for the writer as a future doctor. It is not funny anymore when the minister of health Zbigniew Religa, who after all was able to admit straight in the interviews that he has received instructions “from above” concerning whom to put up on high seats in National Health Fund now violates the doctor’s oath by approving the information campaign in currently proposed form. It is a great unreliability for a doctor to inform the patient only of selected methods of treatment, not even selected by himself, but by the Church (it is a strange coincidence that natural contraception is the only one that this institution allows, isn’t it?). Its error ratio amounts for as much as 20% and this is still the average value, as for the 16, 17 and 18 year-old girls with far less stable cycle and endocrine system the value of the ineffectiveness ratio makes natural contraception a lottery. We actually wonder, what the originators of the programme have prepared for the occasion of questions about the effectiveness of “natural methods” and its comparsion to others…

It’s hard to say whether this is still ignorance or deliberate misinformation already. After all, when multiplying the number of people using this particular contraception method by its UER one can obtain results that may cause a flash of insight for those worried about Poland’s current negative population growth. So it looks like we should after all be happy that despite Mrs. Ania’s designs the Ministry admits that people can also do it before the wedding…

The PVC shopping bags are a quite popular theme of some clips featuring our politics. We all remember when just before Lech Kaczyński’s departure to the USA his wife gave him a shopping bag with Galeria Centrum (malls network) logo, supposedly containing sandwiches for the President’s long journey. It turns out that this attachment is familiar. The cameras caught Jarosław Kaczyński schowing great attachment to a bag labelled “Sony”, unlike any other gift that he received on the same video. Is this curable?

As our careful reader noticed (thx tomek_m69), the President’s office in IVth RP is fully interchangable. As Ministry of Defence’s webpage states, Poland will be represented by, among others, the President Jarosław Kaczyński. Should they change their mind and try to deny, we bring you a screenshot.

Source: Życie Warszawy

We were truly touched by the information stating that the ultimately loyal Kaczynskis’ Bulterier Jacek Kurski was moved from the prestigeous 4th row of the Sejm Hall to the last one, and what’s worse, his new location is close to the Civic Platform’s deputies. What’s the reason for this swap? The official version explains this by the need to find a suitable place for the deputies of People’s National Movement. The less official one says that Kurski made himself unpopular with the PiS leaders by being absent on the sittings and not participating in votings, and the fines imposed on him seemed uneffective. We only hope that the cameras will omit Kurski just as effectively as in the last few weeks. For the good of the (ever) upcoming IVth RP.

Source: Onet

The Prime Minister Jarosław Kaczyński wanted Kazimierz to win the Warsaw election so much that during the campaign he made all decisions necessary “for this chance to be as great as possible”. Yet it turned out that even his puppet’s glits and glamour couldn’t prevail the two enemies - “the old one”, Aleksander Kwaśniewski himself and methane, whose blast in “Halemba” coal mine made it impossible for Kazio to run a decent campaign. To put it shortly - whatever the PM does, everyone will follow Kwaśniewski anyhow and the one who sold him down the river was his own brother, who announced national mourning. Life on the front line ain’t easy. But Jarek doesn’t give in and will keep on opposing. And no one can convince him that white is white.

The odds are that Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz will have to be equipped with a new seat on his crusade against the plot. The state oil suppliers from PKN Orlen? KGHM, the copper mines and metallurgy giant? A Ministry, perhaps? Or a new post? Here you can proove yourselves. The first person to guess at least 48 hours before decisions are officially announced will be awarded with a set of merchandise from our store. Members of PiS leadership are exluded from the competition.

We all remember a president, who didn’t have higher education despite having completed his studies. While the rulers of Poland keep on repreating that these times are gone, this particular tradition is being kept alive. Although this issue has been pointed out in “Nie” weekly and some other sources, only today we have coincidentally encountered hard evidence of the maniputation of the First Lady’s CV. Let’s take a look at the first extract, taken from
Lech Kaczyński’s official candidate homepage, dated 2005.

If, according to the number in the bracket next to her name, Mrs. Kaczyńska was 55 in year 2005, then she must have been born in 1950. So let us proceed to some traces of her education. Evidence nr 2 is an extract taken from the Official President’s Website.

This extract contains information about the First Lady’s maiden name as well as the location of the high school that she completed. So, we are now looking for Miss Maria Mackiewicz from Rabka. And here we find a list of graduates from Romer High School in Rabka:

Well well well, we shall now congratulate Mrs Kaczyńska completing her secondary education in the age of 11! This looks a lot better than the information that she is 6 years older than her husband. At least according to the electoral campaign managers.

Many times so far we have written about Beniamin, a software proxy recommended by the Ministry of Education as a filtering tool used to eliminate potentially harmful Internet content (such as RSAC, ParentGuide or other such applications). Thanks to bart’s aid we have acquired Beniamin’s main library in decompiled form, making it possible for anyone to view all of the dozens of thousands URLs that the program blocks (this list is separate from the one containing keywords that we described a time ago). While this list is longish, it is indeed an interesting piece of reading. While the presence of some subpages or complete webistes such as www.paradarownosci.pl (The Equality Parade), www.racjonalista.pl (Polish Rationalists’ portal criticized by the Polish church for some articles about Christianity and John Paul II), www.lewica.pl (a leftist portal), prawaczlowieka.org.pl (human rights (sic!) portal), kampania.org.pl (the well known Campaign Against Homophobia, www.ateista.pl (atheism portal) or zieloni.org.pl (the Green Party) is by no means a surprise, the reason for including some subpages of the following websites is mysterious: kuria.lomza.pl (the Parish in Łomża), forum.wiara.pl (a religious forum), piotrskarga.pl (Christian Culture Association), kosciol.pl (thechurch.pl) or patriota.pl. Among the blocked we surprisingly find a part of LPR’s local site in the town of Żory. And finally, one can see a bunch of webpages or complete sites whose banning cannot be explained in any rational way: merlin.pl, wysylkowa.pl (multi-branch Internet stores, similar to Amazon.com), ceneo.pl (price comparsion engine, similar to kelkoo.com), stereo.pl (online music store), Allegro.pl auctions, o2.pl, wp.pl and Onet news services and even Syrian hamsters lovers’ homepages. Concerning the last case, we wonder if it’s the copulation aspect or the “coincidental” association with the political comic series http://www.chomks.com. Perhaps the Ministry wanted to encourage pupils for studying foreign languages harder, as even most controversial sites in English were not listed. If that was the idea, then we saulte Mr. Giertych…

We highly recommend browsing the decompiled file where you can look for your site (neither us nor our Polish version, Spieprzajdziadu.com have been honoured this way). The file can be downloaded here.

Source: Gazeta

Anna Kalata, the minister of labour deriving from Samoobrona decided to ensure the safety of our future pensions. Originally, the bill regulating the payment of the money from Open Pension Funds (the so called second pliiar) assumes, that our premiums which are paid into accounts ran by commercial OPFs will be, as soon as we retire, entrusted to the best “specialists” in keeping, multiplying and withdrawal of pensions that Ponad knew - ZUS. ZUS will professionally estimate how much of what we paid to OPFs we deserve, professionally pay us that part (the word fraction is more suitable) and professionally invest the remaining amount. The minister explains, that “We must adopt those solutions that secure the retiring individual as much as possible”. Poles so far fully agree with her by avoiding ZUS and switching to commercial OPFs whenever they can.

It is at this point when we recall a year-old joke. The government announced that their superior aim is the wealth of the citizens. The citizens believed in this and started to hide their wealth frantically. A year ago we all laughed at this…