Source: Gazeta

From the tabloids. Amongst the many bumbling attempts to pick up from the ranks of political plankton led by Przemysław Edgar Gosiewski and Jacek Kurski, emerges a senator who can convince female MPs to join PiS, with style. We are of course referring to Jarosław Chmielewski, who is burning with love towards Sandra Lewandowska, a Samoobrona MP. Sandra presents well, particularly in comparison to her party colleagues, however she remains frigid to the advances of the senator. (”Because they like you, you’re nice. I’ve got something for you live. It’s a 100% thing here”). The senator continues: “I will take you into the organisation as the closest coworker” and then proceeds to bring up patriotic overtones: “Think about the nation”. As it turns out, Przemysław Edgar stands in the way: “Gosiewksi never even said hello to me, and now he’s shaking my hand and making offers. I want to work in peace” - complains Sandra. What propositions was Gosiewski making? Here’s a few
interesting interviews with MP Lewandowska that we recommend.

Source: own

We’d like to briefly comment on PiS’ attempts to narrow Samoobrona’s parliamentary team and the whole issue of guarantees. The inspiration for the thoughts was none other than Jarosław Kaczynski himself through his book titled “Vision for the parliament in the new constitution of the Republic of Poland” (Parliamentary Press, 1995).
“The need for ensuring party discipline and honesty of parliamentarians to their electorate (a change of party colors is a kind of dishonesty), mandates the introduction of far reaching solutions in the matter of parliamentary discipline. […] As in many other nations, the custom of handing over to party leadership power over an MPs mandate, should be institutionalised. […] Party structures should have the power to decide over MPs resignations, a reason for which could be departure from a party,[…].”

Source: Rzeczpospolita

The prime sportsman of IV RP, Tomasz Lipiec, recently celebrated his birthday. His guests partied in Villa Park, a restaurant in Wesoła near Warsaw. The festivities were tasty, cosy and familial. The guest list was a real who’s who of Polish social circles: Marek Różycki (suspected of fradulently obtaining a house - the matter is with the prosecutor’s office) and well known sports fan, Andrzej Parzęcki, who as an acivist of the Polish Student’s Union, was involved in an incident at Jacek Kuron’s home. We’d like to add to all the warm wishes coming from all around the country and would like to wish the minister good health and at least two more terms. It’s also worth adding, that the minister paid for the private function with a government credit card – 3500 PLN out of the taxpayers pocket.

Source: Gazeta

First, PiS did not want to show the face of their candidate for the president of Sopot, then once his identity was uncovered by the media, they decided to organise a secret election convention. A private company, Art Extreme, hired the conference room, not the PiS camapign organisers. The owners of the conference centre were told, that the reason for the meeting was to show Art Extreme employees their new director. Was PiS scared that their followers would put up such a showing, that it would result in a stampede on their candidate? Or perhaps he was scared that the number of flowers he was to be showered with by the residents of Sopot, would make breathing difficult? PiS spokesman for Sopot, Przemysław Marchlewicz, explains: “We acted professionally and tricked our political oponents”.

A bit of light hearted amusement after a week full of emotion. Come on in!

President Kaczński continues with his staple of problems - this time with an american mikerofone and the english language[ściągnij]

In the meantime his brother is busy firing Lepper. [ściągnij]

Lepper gets angry at some reporters. [pobierz]

Artur Zawisza invites Maja the Bee (orig: Pszczółka Maja). [pobierz]

MP Kuchciński disagrees with the boss. [pobierz]

Rafał Kubacki stands for office of president. [pobierz]

The Looking Glass (orig: Szkło Kontaktowe) version of PiS’s hymn. [pobierz]

What awaits if we get another election. [pobierz]

Szymon Majewski parodies a Coca-Cola ad… [pobierz]

.. and a Civic Platform campaign ad. [pobierz]

For desert “The Lawful and the Just” - . [pobierz]

Source: Super Express

Have you noticed it as well? Those gentle looks, delicate brushes of hands in the corridoors, subtle nods of heads and mutual tremors of passion. Walks together, secret meetings, sharing intimate notes via friends. That’s right - love is blossoming in the parliament again. Super Express writes about two parliamentary couples, who in the current political climate might get broken up. This classical literary drama is brought to us by Renata Beger pairing up with Przemysław Gosiewski and Danuta Hojarska with Jacek Kurski (what beautiful pups those two could have). Unfortunately the unforgiving war “at the top” is tearing apart these promising relationships. There is still hope - our gentlemen are trying to convince their better halves to join other parties. A PiS MP comments it as follows: “Gosiewski used his charm. There was even some fondling of ponytails”. On the other hand Kurski is using a remote technique: “he was calling me up for half the night” - says MP Hojarska. Will love triumph?

Source: Życie Warszawy

What makes a beautiful and loyal Samoobrona MP move rank to a new parliamentary club and the support of PiS? We believe that it is a deep set belief in the leadership capabilities of Jarosław Kaczynski, his irrisistable personal charm, charisma, animal magnetism and impressive physique. Życie Warszawy has a different theory. ŻW collated some statements of the migrating MPs, from which it is clear that PiS promised them “a solution to their financial problems”. Amongst others, a promise to bring to life the consumer bankrupcty act, as admitted by Member Ptak: “PiS politicians ensured me, that the matter will finally be put into motion. If we have early elections and PO takes power, the consumer bankruptcy act will surely never be”. Member Ptak is half a million zlotys in debt. Other Samoobrona MPs, who in spite of Lepper continue to support the government, are in the same situation. Tadeusz Dębicki, Halina Molka, Józef Pilarz and Andrzej Ruciński are also in debt. A new level of excellence in Politics.

Source: Gazeta

It seems we haven’t written anything about spectacular careers in Publicly owned companies for a while, time to make up for it. The Szczecin and Świnoujście Board of Sea Ports Ltd. has a new member - Kazimierz Drzazga, who was earlier responsible for issuing entry passes in the civil defence department. Which special qualifications were decisive in his move to the board? In particular Drzazga obtained a higher education in public administration at night school. He is also fluent in the English language (it just so happens that no one on the board knows it). Oh, and he is the PiS head in nearby Police, but that of course had no influence on his nomination.

Source: Gazeta

PiS is tightening its ranks and gaining support in the wider circles of Samoobrona deserters and LPR rejects. Unfriendly voices suggest, that parliamentarians bolting from Samoobrona are afraid of the likely unfavorable result of new elections, as without their parliamentary salaries they would not have the means to pay off their debts. We’re not so suspicious and have decided to present a few profiles from the offence of Jarosław Kaczynski’s “Dream Team”:

Józef Cepil (Kielce), member of parliament for the second time. 45 years old. Agricultural engineer. Accused by his ex-party friends of falsyfing support petitions.
Piotr Misztal (Łódź). No comment for this one (well maybe just a short one - specialist for the execution of the “Cheap State” - after all, his much loved brands Rolex, Tag Heuer, Armani, Hummer or Maybach shout modesty at a hundred metres. And just in case, he has already proven he can go a round or two.
Tadeusz Dębicki (Kalisz). First time parliamentarian. 60 years old. Farmer, secondary education: agricultural mechanic. Known for his knowledge of Middle East issues: “There are two kinds of Jews. A good Jew is a Dead Jew” (statement from 09.03.2005 - Agricultural Commission of the Wielkopolskiego Voivoidship Council).
Zygmunt Wrzodak (Rzeszów). Enthusiast of Adam Asynk’s poetry, follower of the Rosary Mother of God Cult. Known for having an opinion on every topic: “There was a homosexual’s club present in the last parliament, which acted in a secret manner”.

Only Leszek Bubel is missing. The aforementioned members of parliament along with their equally competent friends formed the “People’s National Movement” (orig. Ruch Ludowo - Narodowy), we wish them all the best in their endeavours for a new, greater Republic.

The Green Duck Theatre is proud to present the erotic play “Now what?“

Jarosław Kaczyński: Lepper was given the chance to take part in a good government. We cannot in any way accept such chaos and disorder.

Andrzej Lepper: Pigs, pigs and more pigs. I wasn’t arguing, ddin’t act like a pig, or uncouthly. Failure by the Prime Minister to consult anything with anyone is a lack of political and personal refinement. I’ve been patient and taken it for long enough anyway.

The nation (sings): We want Law and Justice, IVRP’s time has come (x20)

Curtains: Draw in shame.