Source: Super Express

Andrzej Dera, a deputy from PiS is a member of the Banking Investigation Commission. Within the confines of his social sensibility lies the defending of the employees of “Wagon” factory, who are facing difficulties collecting their overdue wages from their employer. We must admit that when Dera gets round to something, he tries to analyze the subject from every perspective. A former journalist of “Nasz Kurier” weekly (issued in Ostrów Wielkopolski) can tell something about it. The co-shareholder and the head of the company who issues the magazine is no one else but Andrzej Dera. The journalist is in vain trying to collect her overdue money, amounting 7,000 zloty [~ 1750 Euro] for a long time. Is this a sign of Mr. Dera’s acquiring skills necessary to join Samoobrona?

A little late did we notice that the “Contact Lens” show is back, but still we managed to shoot something. But let’s start with the unbeatable Macdac, who has produced the second part of The Muppet Sejm!

Jacek Kurski explains, that the brutality of the Polish politics is nothing compared to others.

Marek Jurek worked hard to figure a little piece of metaphysics.

Marek Jurek – first he invites, then he throws out.

Source: Gazeta 1, 2

The council election is coming and every opportunity is right to remind one’s neighbours of his modest person. The councillor from PiS and at the same time a member of their Superior Political Council, Paweł Bromski is smiling to his perspective electors on great billboards with his photo and name. They invite by-passers to a somewhat interesting exhibition entitled: “Warsaw, the last view”. It presents air photographs of Warsaw taken shortly before the breakout of Warsaw Uprising in 1944. There are 200 posters, all funded by the councillor. And guess who paid 100,000 zloty [25,000 Euro] for setting up the exhibition itself? You did, she did, all of us, citizens did (by the means of Warsaw city council). And what is Bromski’s comment on his appearance on the posters? “Well, I’m trying to be active and I’m just hanging all around”. For sure does he not lack activeness, since it’s him who proposed renaming a part of al. Marszałkowska (Field Marshall alley) to Pułaski and Kościuszko alley. Yet there is a shade of hope – he has been suspended from his PiS membership! While the reason for this was not his running a premature election campaign but… using the logo of his party without permission – but this is still something.

Source: Wirtualna Polska

It’s been a long time since we started writing about the effects of “Inexpensive State”. A “copycat” of our idea by the “biased” PO (Civic Platform) resulted in breakout of another slanderous campaign of them, in which they dare insinuate that the expenses of the government on phone calls, office equipment, Xerox(TM) copiers, vehicles, investments and renovations have increased by another 2 bln zloty [500 mln Euro]. The Platform accuses the Kaczyński brothers of not delivering on the sale of approximately one hundred recreational and training sites owned by government administration and the President (this were to bring additional 2 bln zloty to the Budget - it did not since Lech and jarek started to enjoy the relaxation). The reigning party announced administration cuts and making redundant 150,000 clerks. Instead they hired additional 3,000. The number of company cars were to be dropped from 50,000 to 30,000. About one hundred new ones have appeared so far this year. The expenses on phone calls were to be reduced by 20 to 40%. Instead they did increase as new officials got a few dozens of new cell phones. Not to mention the coffee . The government explains that they have not dropped the savings programme, and that intense preparations of its launch are in progress. The Prime Minister’s office refuses to give any of its details. So here is another act of PO’s defaming of our government - the government of all Poles. When will they stop?

Source: Interia

Hubert H., just like James Dean has chosen freedom, did not appear in court today and departed towards the setting sun. Hubert H. is a man of many faces: a modest person, a romantic, a poet, a man deeply bound with Polish soil whose occupation is being homeless; and at the same time the first criminal in 4th RP accused of verbally insulting the President. Ziobro, the Minister of Justice has, just like Tommy Lee Jones in “The Fugitive”, ordered prosecutors and police to catch him. The police in the whole country have been given a priority task to capture Hubert H. and deliver him before the stern face of the Minister of Justice, who will give a just sentence in his wisdom. Artists, poets and intelligentsia in support of Hubert H. say, that regardless of the sentence passed he will remain an opposition icon in 4th RP. Where is Hubert H. now? Anyone seen, anyone knows - you can report to the Ministry of Justice, just call +48-22-512-12-888. We bet that together with deputy Senszyn they make up the most colourful couple of the opposition. Almost like Bonnie and Clyde.

Source: Dziennik Bałtycki (Baltic Daily)

Andrzej Lepper is running a tough battle with Jarosław Kaczyński for electorate. Having beaten Jarosław in such categories as “suntan”, “demagogy” or “smile”, Andrzej Lepper decided to clench the “First aviator of 4th RP” order (it will be quite easy due to reigning Prime Minister’s certain shortcoming ). Minister of Agriculture flies with abandon, especially to his home near Darłów. To prove that he never suffers from nausea, he orders exquisite meals on the plane (during the last flight he ate and drank for a total of 1100 zloty [~ 275 euro] - now that is a stomach!). Just his three flights in the month of July costed the state 17 000 zloty [~ 4250 Euro], plus the meals of course. The vice-PM does not reproach himself with all this. “I did not go there privately, but on business, to the events that I patronized. And if I did visit my family by chance, is this something bad? So I shouldn’t have seen the kids, right? Of course one might get there cheaper. You can write that the cheapest possibility would be by bike. - he commented for “Baltic Daily”. Summing up the match between Jarek and Andrzej, the vice-PM leads 4 to 1 (Jarosław Kaczyński earned an extra point for singing).

Source: Życie Warszawy, Gazeta

The city of Warsaw has a mermaid in its crest. A topless mermaid. It is also the host of the Miss World competition. We will skip the latter as it is another story. Yet the competition is advertised by the mermaid. In the first version of the poster the mermaid had one of her breasts uncovered, which makes half as many as in the original. However, the Promotion and Development Office of Warsaw has demanded the author to cover the breast by a sash. This version appeared on the poster. It seems that this was still too obscene, as later on the webpage advertising the competition a fully dressed version of the mermaid appeared. Below we present the three stages of dressing the mermaid.

We can only be happy with the fact that the hosts did not make use of “Papa mermaid” version - the picture below presents a bus stop during the Pope’s visit.

We strongly demand restoration of mermaid’s breasts!

Source: WP

The head of PiS parliamentary club, Marek Kuchciński has shown his excellent understanding of the nature of democracy. He said on a press conference held in the Sejm, that the only aim of introducing the public rehearsal is “a deliberate action of obstructing the Sejm’s works on council electoral law”. He also added “It does not seem to me that a public rehearsal is needed here”. This way PiS has decided that the citizens have no remarks about their project. We propose that they should announce to have already won the upcoming council election and consider it senseless. This way we could save another few hundred million zloty that we would unnecessarily spend on organization of the election – and use them on another Temple of God’s Providence.

Source: Trybuna

“Trybuna” is highly concerned about the health of Jaroslaw Kaczyński’s cat, Alik. According to specialists quoted by the daily, the cat may suffer from Jarosław and his mother’s moving into the new governmental mansion. The paper adds that if the PM wants to relieve Alik’s stress, he should provide his pet with optimal conditions, as well as lots of caress and care. In addition, the tabloid “Fakt” reports about some improvements being made at the mansion, due to the PM’s moving into it – the fence is being raised with a net. The rumor says that this is to prevent Alik from escaping on border, just as millions of Poles did.

Source: Gazeta

We are delighted to present you our selection of some wonderful quotes from our favourite investigator, Artur Zawisza (interviewed by Gazeta Wyborcza).

Gazeta: And you, who considers himself conservative, would like to share the party with Wojciech Wierzejski, a politician who would repulse shaking hands with a homosexual in fear for his health?

A. Z. Wierzejski is a bit of a lunatic fringe. While his character can sometimes be unpleasant, he may be right from time to time.
(…)
Gazeta: Was it a result of the infamous incident involving you on the frontline? In early 90s during academic protests against the imprisonment of Roman Gałuszka, a pacifist who refused to join the army, you tore the support lists, destroyed boards and banners?

A. Z. I became a self-styled arm of the vice Chancellor of the university. I defended higher order, yet without his authorization. I actively showed students the door, I kicked to break their banners, I was inflamed with divine rage. I was the creator of a manifest concerning long-haired students. I claimed that they should be treated sceptically during entrance exams. The university is not compulsory – therefore the long-haired candidates had better found a place somewhere else.

Finally, there’s one more interesting quote about Mr. Zawisza. [his friend] Rękas remembers, that when he met Zwisza he was curious about the little Celtic cross he had pinned to his jacket. Later he learned that Zawisza got it as a gift from Derek Holland, Third Position ideologist from a British fascist organization National Front. He carried it throughout the whole studies.

We recommend reading the whole article and the interview.